I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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