I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
