we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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