I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
