i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
