Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
