sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i came on her dog
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
