There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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