is your mom at the bar?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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