It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
