I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
