my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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