Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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