He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Houston, we have a squirter
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize