The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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