Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
