Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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