Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
