Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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