I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
