Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
