No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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