whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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