You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
