Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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