Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
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yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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