Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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