At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
