Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
