Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
