Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
