It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
