I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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