If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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