Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
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In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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