she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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