you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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