i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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