I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
