so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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