At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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