My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize