A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
that's an acceptable place to lick
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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