Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I supernannyed him into submission
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
