I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
