Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
