I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
