I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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