we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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