Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
