I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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