I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize