I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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