recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
