please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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