honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
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His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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