Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize