It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
